Loosing to Gain

Family. Time. The kids grow up. People move. Careers get traded for dreams. So much seems to get lost if you don’t prioritize connection.

It “feels” like so much is lost. However, evidence shows that it’s a net gain. They haven’t lost anything by connecting with an unhealthy you. You haven’t lost anything by increasing relationships with an unhealthy them.

Separation from others when the foundation of the relationship was built on unhealthy motives, attitudes, or behaviors is a net gain for everyone involved.

The principle found in the Hippocratic Oath, “First, do no harm” is at play here. In life, you and only you are 100% responsible for you. Whether you acknowledge it or not, if your presence brings harm to others, then you have an obligation to “loose time” with them until it doesn’t.

But it’s not simply their gain that’s important. It’s yours too. You further damage yourself when other people allow you to behave in ways that are harmful

to them.

The crux is this. Do no harm to yourself first. Only then will you be able to move through the world fostering growth and vitality in them. The result? A net gain for everyone.